jPay Message #011

I’m watching BETHer in the morning because it’s the best way to hear new, or remind me of old, music. It’s entirely rap, hip-hop, and r&b. During one of the videos, camron (or was it ja rule?) throws a ton of money around, and I realized, slowly and subtly: I haven’t seen actual paper money…More

“Finding Myself in a Prison Weight Pit (Antidote)”

Except for a brief period when I was 14-16, I’ve never regularly worked out. In fact, I’d estimate I’ve seriously exercised less than two dozen times in the decade prior to my incarceration. Although I’ve never been “fat”, I have been chubby and I have been weak. I’d suddenly develop a beer belly, which would…More

“Surreality”

16 months in prison, but for the first year, I hadn’t yet comprehended the actual reality. I suppose I really didn’t – or couldn’t – notice how much things inexorably changed without me until a year had passed. People move on. You can’t remember what your friends look like. They talk to you distantly on…More