jPay Message #460

Lifestyle, work, and relationships are some of the main ways we define ourselves and find meaning. The best argument for regular exercise (to me) is that it’s the most reliable way to feel good about yourself. We were evolved to break a sweat everyday. Working out once probably gives the approximate relief that a dose…More

jPay Message #455

Hottest day of the year and the power’s out. No fans, no TVs, nothing electronic save the battery life of your tablet. It’s just you, your mind, and a 150 others cramped in this tiny pole barn, like we’re all in the hole. This is doing time. There’s no respite–we’ve been stuck inside all day…More

Books I Read This Month (July2022)

Avengers vs. Xmen – Aaron, Bendis et al.A State of Fear – Laura DodsworthThe Joy of Mindful Journaling – Tara WardDie: Fantasy Heartbreaker – Kieron Gillen & Stephanie HaarLight from Many Lamps – ed. Lillian Eichler WatsonInjustice: Gods Among Us Vol. 1 – B. Buccellato, B. Redendo et al. You know what’s freaking awesome?! Naps.…More

“Penitentiary Mating Calls”

Every action and the simplest gestures are shaded with extra meanings. Prison contains all kinds of universes coexisting in the same space. For some, it’s a Crime U; for others, it’s a seedy gay nightclub. When I was locked up in county, some ex-(soon to be present-) con told me farting loudly is like a…More

jPay Message #449

I’m laid up in bed, lazy, mindlessly flipping thru channels, feeling sorry for myself and recalling the million and one things I’d done differently. As if on cue, my cubie says, in his 2 packs a day smokers voice, “Man, you cant think all that coulda shoulda woulda stuff,” thinking about his own shit. His…More

jPay Message #440

You gotta count the little wins. Few things are quite as satisfying as getting a good pump in at night, going back to a cook up bowl, and a hot shower, feeling sore in a good way, knowing that’s another day down, another day closer, having stayed sucka free in a land of lollipops.More

jPay Message #433

The language in prison is unlike anything spoken anywhere else. Movies don’t really convey how unique it is on its own, despite it’s similarity to black vernacular. It’s decipherable to outsiders but many terms don’t make much sense until you experience it up close. One term thrown around a lot is “burnt,” which basically describes…More