jPay Message #384

This is my 4th Christmas away. At first I didnt miss it much, too concerned with my pending fate, but now that reality’s settled in, I miss it. The holidays werent just a time to be sad and alone–maybe melancholy– but I spent it with my family, who I actually like.

I kinda wonder what the think. I mean, Im cool with my uncle but I wonder it’ll be like to talk to him after becoming an 8 year example of what happens when-getting-high-goes-horribly-wrong. I wanna make it a good one. I got the time to make that happen.

When I think of the distance from where I am, to where I wanna go, I sometimes get daunted. But then I think of the journey one step at a time, and it shrinks. Im thinking, okay, now I can do this, and keep grinding.

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