jPay Message #380

Magazines –especially subscriptions–are a prized commodity in the joint. Obviously, Playboys remain the most desirable, but GQ, Esquire, Men’s Health are all very popular, too.

I got ahold of some old Men’s Health & GQs from the past two years that Ive kept as my taking-a-shit lit.

(Holy fuck, I didnt realize what a pompous, insufferable, elitist publication GQ had become. It’s target audience must be super rich white liberals who imagine themselves to be great “allies” of people of color but would actually be terrified walking by black teenagers…I almost confused it for the toilet paper.)

Men’s Health had a feature profiling 20 influential people in the health and fitness industry; three of em were ex-cons. One especially caught my eye. Based in NYC, this guy started a personal trainer servie employing, almost exclusively, ex-cons, many still on parole. It’s sructured partly to assist fitness-obsessed felons make the transition to civilian life. 

This got me thinking:if all else fails, I’ll just become a personal trainer. I didnt start working out to look good, it was just a way to stay sane, but Ive gotten shredded in the process. I think Id run a class with the cultish vibe of Soul Cycle and call it “Yoga for Men”–scratch that–“Prison Yard Yoga” (need to attract females, y’know?), but really thatd be a misnomer. The class would entirely consist of me making everyone do a 100 burpees.

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