jPay Message #291

I had to take a couple day break from writing because all I could talk about was how I could shit every morning after being constipated for years from the food. I needed some relief (heh).

I just reread two of my favorite memoirs: Jude Angelini’s ‘Hyena’ and Cat Marnell’s ‘How to Murder Your Life’. As much as I enjoyed them, I felt sad and nostalgic about my life pre-prison. They brought back a bunch of memories, because they meant a lot to me when I first read them.

Also, they both talk about doing PCP in a not-all-bad way, which has reawakened my own curiosity about that drug. it’s the one major drug I haven’t tried. I made a point of trying all the other ones, partly because I was curious about all the different ways to chemically change your state of consciousness. 

granted, telling the parole board about my yen to smoke sherm prolly won’t sit well, but I didn’t come to prison to get rehabilitated. I came to do time, to pay a societal debt. any changes I’ve made are purely incidental. 

really, this is likely jus a passing fancy, something to daydream about it, far away from the million institutional rules and barbed-wire fences.

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