“Convict Archetypes”

Here’s a list of the common personalities found on every yard in the MDOC, except for some obvious or too varied types like the dope man that I’ve purposefully omitted:

the self-taught educated prisoner– usually someone with a longer sentence, like a dime piece, who was young when locked up. These guys could’ve–should’ve–attended college but barely have a HS diploma, but have been engrossed by books as a source of knowledge. They favor nonfiction, and often develop a highly-specialized and sophisticated understanding of a subject, like accounting, history, or the law. 

A specific subtype of Muslim black supremacists is a ludicrous, yet popular example with their revisionist histories. They’re too often that prison stereotype: the inmate with a dictionary in hand who egregiously misuses $5 vocab words. Some of the guys will talk like Joey Tribbianni trying to sound smart in writing in order to convince others they know what they’re talking about. It comes off as semi-coherent gibberish.

gangbanger– professional criminal, sentence length independent, tatted up. they are temperamentally disposed towards prison culture and violence. Adheres to a different set of rules than a civilian, that are brutal and punishing. 

Almost always “affiliated”, which means they’re a member of a gang/”organization”. In a twisted way, they kinda resemble a frat in a lotta ways, and provide some immediate, and tangible benefits that are obvious to outsiders. Some promote self-improvement and pre-emptive self-defense, others exist to bully and prey on and terrorize thru numbers… I’ve a heard a blood *brag* that he’s never had to fight one-on-one.

D&D Nerds– the most non-threatening types on the yard…they’re always playing a boardgame or roleplaying game at the picnic tables in the summer. Huge comic book, fantasy, and scifi dorks. 2/3rds of em are chomos.

Hustle Man– There was literally a guy called “Hustle Man”; another was known as eBay. you can get the gist. this is the guy you go to whenever you want to sell something and always has things for sale: electronics, clothes, books.

Fix-It Guy– similarly self-obvious. This dude will fix your shit, carve your prison number into a TV, construct a remote, amp the volume on a TV or player. 80% of the work is repairing headphones, because even the pricier ones available for purchase are shitty, and the sound goes out on one side after a few months from a short. One of the best legitimate hustles but labor intensive.

Bible thumpers–theyre almost always christian fundamentalists but there is a service called by some goofy nondenominational name like “All Wisdom” (okay, not that dumb) that basically jus reads the bible. they hate catholics. they like to proselytize about the bible but will rarely talk about God directly.

75% that attend service are chomos. The other ones are often very selfish people that can compartmentalize their actions away from their beliefs. Lol one example is a dope fiend neighbor that’ll emotionally extort his invalid, obsese, alcoholic mom out of half her social security check by saying he’s about to get stabbed, not to mention all the guys hes robbed directly or indirectly in his perpetual pursuit of a high. but he’ll also do a line and host bible study. 

in many cases, the fundamentalist belief attempts to mask some serious character flaw.

black supremacist–the dogmatic kind I’m referring to are almost all Muslim, where their beliefs of racial superiority become a matter of faith. usually these guys been down for a long time. the majority of their experiences with white people have been with inmates and COs, who are not a very representative sample, and extrapolate for that. 

commonly believe Yakub, an evil, mad scientist, created white people long ago to oppress black &brown people. ascribe many major pre-modern inventions and ideas to Africans. known to prey on young, effete white guys

like any gang/org, there’s positive strains within this movement that emphasize self-improvement, responsibility, and accountability.

sissies–openly homosexual, these limp wristed felons almost exclusively bunk in the sex offender units. the black ones group up on the yard, and the white fags…idk, apparently they jerk each other off in the unit? and then there’s the old, fat, bald predator who spins laps with his effeminate young catamite, they’re like the out couple on the yard.

luckily the sissies dont bother anyone, but repeated interactions with one is suspect. people will gossip, and automatically assume you’re fucking.

the dope fiend– someone who’ll say anything to get the dope. to be clear, getting high doesn’t make you a fiend. a fiend will run up bills they have no chance of paying.

my aforementioned neighbor is a prime example: the fucked up thing is he’s not even lying when he scares his mom with his stories–he’ll get so strung out every month, telling people whatever it takes to get the shit, and then spin em with excuses for weeks that by the end of the month, they wanna butcher him…it’s gotten to the point where I think he gets off on it. like, he loves making promises he can’t come close to fulfilling, and pissing everyone off in the process.

ABs–ive only met one explicitly white supremacist. he had a swastika tattoo on his forehead lol but he honestly didn’t behave like a racist. he wasnt so much anti-black as he was pro-white, and a lot of it was in response to the preponderance of black supremacist rhetoric that was openly voiced. in this hotbed of race consciousness, youd think white supremacists would proliferate but that’s not really the case.


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