Now that I’m in the penitentiary, I’m more amused by prison jokes on TV. For the most part, they’re pretty spot-on; however, the ‘drop the soap’ bit isn’t really true (at least where I’m at, the showers aren’t communal)…mostly, you don’t wanna drop the soap because everyone jerks off in there and the floor is probably caked with cum.
There’s a Family Guy episode where Meg is sentenced to prison for aiding an escapee. When she comes home, she’s hard as fuck, and applying the lessons she learned there to real-world situations. I’m starting to notice the same changes in myself…
Store day was this past week, and there was a hiccup so I wouldn’t have $5 to repay 3 people until the next day (this was after paying back a lot, lot more). One dude who I owed a dollar to was fucking annoying the shit out of me, so when he asked for the sixth time, I was short in my response, and he got all butthurt about it.
“Now I see why dawg punched you in the face,” he spat, referring to my fight a month ago. I was infuriated.
So the following day, he saw me carrying around a few dollars, and, obviously in a better mood, asked if I got em. I was eager for this moment. I snapped back, “Look motherfucker, I ain’t paying you shit after talking to me like I’m a bitch.”
“But I didn’t mean–” he tried to cut in.
“And now you’re gonna have to get paid in the same way dawg wanted it. I’m ready to go whenever, man, the bathrooms right there. Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
(All the while, I’m thinking, holy shit am I bully now? I hated this guy a year ago.)
He stuttered out an apology, and essentially, wanted no smoke.
I ended up paying him an hour later. But that exemplifies the mindset shift when you’ve a good chunk of time left versus nearing the door. I’m sure this guy was only a year or two from going home and didn’t want any fighting tickets before he saw the parole board.
Me, I’m so far away from seeing them again the board wont even be able to see any tickets I catch this year. I just have to make sure of two things:
First, no matter who it is, I hit back if someone puts hands on me. Second, I don’t let anyone talk to me like I’m a bitch or a hoe. Otherwise, everyone else will.