jPay message #159

I just got a remote put in my TV, which is great. I can just lay back with a pair of headphones and change the channel. im amazed at the ingenuity. Watching TV has become such a big part of life that I have the free-time to make an opinion on who the best Spider Man is (the last one, btw)…it’s kinda sad. 

jpay is such a ahitty service. this message will probably be ‘intercepted” where my people get the message 3 weeks later; it already happened to 4 of em. Since Im assuming this message is being read by the mail room, and possibly censored because of subject matter, this is an underhanded way of telling the censors in the mail room to either send or reject or let it come thru, don’t hold onto it for thirty days before the other party receives it. Yes, m talking to you Yirku or whatever your name is that blocks any halfway objectionable content: literally, mail, books, anything. Plus you ave to admit this is better than all the other message you go thru. At least, they’re not nearly filled with as many “niggas” and “bitches” from other inmates. I can’t even find the messages in my sent mail folder until they are finally delivered. Come the fuck on, I already paid for the stamps.

Anyways, back to you, there’s a lot more I’d like to say about prison but it’s almost guaranteed to be delayed if not destroyed by the guards. The harassment and constant shakedowns and random drug tests arent worth the unadulterated truth, which will just be in a book sometime past the statute of limitations. Not like Id face trouble from any of these things, I’d just rather be almost anonymous to the guards. 

Lately, I’ve been thinking of Gene Wolfe’s tetralogy, The Book of the New Sun, about an exiled master from the “Torturer’s Guild” set in some distant future. The narrator, an executioner kicked out of the guild for showing mercy by saving an innocent girls life and goes on a physical journey where he encounters some of the most unique and strangest characters of the genre. Originally published in the 80s over 4 installments, the series combines the best of fantasy (a popular subtext how the best magic is conjured from within, accessible to anyone) and sci-fi plot elements (mind-binding twists that make you question the nature of time and truth itself) like ripples in the fabric of spacetime. So much of what he initially experiences as a loss or mistake turns out to be essential steps to fulfill his destiny. I know how he feels. There’s a line that goes “You always become what you pretend to be” that’s stuck in my head. 

I’ve been stuck inside because of LOP and I almost got sunburnt at lunch when I was outside for a half hour, although o be honest, I have snuck out to go running in the morning. I’m trying to adjust from the mindset of doing two years to six, and there’s a big difference. like,,,I keep getting fried for leaving my TV on at night. it’s getting to the point where think they’re making it up. this most recent one, allegedly I woke up at 330, watched one episode of “Las Vegas” and went back to sleep–turning off my TV beforehand, mind you–at 4, and I have zero recollection of it. Apparently I’m a “sleep-TV-viewer”, not a sleep walker. (cmon, that’s a good one, right?)

Damn, I just gotta mention again how badass this remote is. I’m amazed that it’s even possible here with the materials available, and impressed by the quality…since they’re not technically allowed, subtlety is key. The “fix-it” guy does such good honest work I pay for as many jobs as I can–fixing the short in my headphones, oiling my fan, pretty, repairing my broken glasses from the fight a fewwks ago–just because I respect him. Lol this sounds like an endorsement for products you don’t ever wanna be in the position to buy, but whatever, it was a well-spent $7.

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