jPay message #154

The hearings officer gave me 30 days of sanctions for my fight last week: 10 days of top-lock, 20 days of LOP (loss of privileges). They’re basically the same except top-lock keeps you glued to your bunk…you have to ask for permission to go to the restroom. Otherwise, they’re identical–I can’t go outside, I had to turn over my TV and tablet, I’m not allowed to go to any call outs besides work and primary religious service. Ordinarily, they turn off your phone and block access to the jpay machine, but due to the covid pandemic, they keep them open and online because we dont visits. 

In the past the longest I had to do was 12 days LOP for smoking, which resulted in a dirty drop. That was brutal, and I was able to keep my TV. I had to do a 3 piece sans TV about a month ago, and I was going insane by day 3. So I prepped this time…rented a TV and tablet, so I would still have a pair after turning them over to the police….I’m getting good at this “jailin” thing.

Coincidentally, half my cube is on LOP right now…Beard for refusing to drop, Shep beating somone’s ass the kitchen. This way I can at least talk to some people. I’m not allowed on the yard so I’m left doing push ups in the cube, but my right hand is still fucked up from the fight.

I’m so relieved that my pending case is over and I did better than I expected (but worse than I hoped). I can’t stress enough how heavily that ‘delivery causing death’ charge weighed on my mind. I thought about it when I woke up, and I thought about it before I went to sleep. My confidence in my lawyer was a rollercoaster: I’d vacillate from believing he’d get the charge dismissed to inevitably receive a 17 year sentence very few hours. For almost a year I fought a charge where the best plea deal on the table was 17 years (!!!), and I have the gray hairs to prove it.

I can finally do my bit. Before, I’d hesitate before delivering some righteous retribution because I thought there was a chance I could be see the board and thus paroled, but I also needed to stay out of the way as much as possible in order to be seen in the best possible light for sentencing. 

MDOC doesn’t judge prisoners with any nuance, and their policies are sometimes retarded beyond belief. Case in point: I received the same punishment as my assailant for this fighting ticket. When I intimated to the hearing officer that the video would prove I acted in self-defense, she ruled that since the other guy turned to walk away after punching me in the face at the denouement of a heated argument, I re-engaged by hopping in the hallway and punching him in the face. She considered that retaliation, not self-defense. I was so blown away by the clueless idiocy of her answer, I could only stutter that I was a man, and asked if I was just supposed to let someone hit me in the face and not do anything? Did she realize where we were?

Apparently, MDOC’s policy recommends going to grab a CO in that situation, which is literally the worst possible response. Not only would that show you to be a bitch, you’d then prove yourself a snitch. A reputation as both would result in outright hostility. Your TV and electronics would be stolen as soon as you turned your back; every store bag and secure pack would be targeted by gangs of thiefs; you’d be treated with same derision reserved for the most heinous chomos. But that’s MDOC for ya: if it makes sense, then fuck you, that’s contrary to the rules.


  1. BeeBee Slaughter says:

    Love your stories ♡

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Brendan says:

      Thank you ! My brother writes me from prison and I post them to the blog .


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