jPay message #131

I jus drank two cups of that mexican espresso and I am ZOOMING! My new routine, since the pits are closed, is to make a cup and then try to do 150 push ups right after waking up.

One positive of this quarantine is that there’s no ride-ins so you already know who everybody is, and there’s not much turnover within the units. Like, if you get in a fight, they’ll put you in the hole for 2 days and then put you back on the yard instead of riding you out. Plus, one of my cubies went home a few weeks ago so I’ve only got 6 cubies instead of 7. It’s slightly more tolerable. This is actually the best cube I’ve been in. One is a head of the mobites, so despite being extra loud, it’s offset by the fact that no one comes into the cube out of respect. Of course, another cubie (a white guy this time) is super into the Bible. He’s super fundamentalist and interprets it literally, and I’ve gotten into a few arguments with him. He always watches the news with his butt buddy, and he’ll invariably declare, regardless of what the headlines are, “this was all prophesied in the bible.” I’ve tried to get him to show me, but he’ll condescendingly ask, “umm, have you heard of the book of revelation?” it’s incredibly frustrating. Anytime we veer towards an actual discussion, he’ll be like, “I was exactly where you were 4 years ago. But the fact that were having this talk means you could be one of the elect. “Even my attempts to be diplomatic get struck down.” “Do you think we could be talking about the same thing except were using different vocabularies?” which receives an emphatic no. Like every fundamentalist ever, he thinks the rapture will happen during his lifetime and only the people that think exactly like him will get saved. Ironically, he spends most of his days looking to get high. The other day, he was literally snorting lines of coffee for pleasure, not as some kind of a dare. “What would Jesus say if he came back fight now and saw you doing that?” I asked him.

Speaking of inmates that are burnt, my worst cubie is an old head that’s been down for 20+ years so he’ll swing at someone for the slightest provocation. Not too long ago, he accused us of stealing toilet paper off his bunk while he was at work in the kitchen. The porter lied and told him he put a couple rolls on his bunk when he just set all the tp for the cube on the table, like he always does. Dawg was bitchin about his missing tp all night, and threatened to have TVs stolen. It was one of those surreal overreactions that only happen in prison.

Anyways, I’ve been letting a barber borrow my clippers in exchange for free haircuts. I’m getting one later today after shift change, and the COs aren’t anal about haircuts in the bathroom.

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