jPay message #013

Every time I think I understand this prison bullshit I get thrown a curve ball.It sucks because there really is no such thing as “friends” here because someone will do you dirty as soon as they can. plus there’s the added dimension that I’m a white college grad coming from an upper middle class background. so many of these fuckers are poor in the world so now there super poor here, and im definitely viewed as a target. all of this is compounded by the cultural gap; i was surrounded by mostly good, trustworthy ppl whereas most inmates are honestly petty, stupid,.and greedy and associated with similar ppl in the world. im forced to reexamine my assumptions about how to deal w ppl entirely. i mentioned this to kasey before but whats fucked up about this place is that compared to the world where i was mostly surrounded by ppl i loved or at least meant them well and vice versa im surrounded by malevolent ppl who if not outright hostile are simply indifferent to my well being, best case scenario. as much as prison has attempted to make me racist against blacks, I’m also getting disappointed with white people. mostly there are a ton of white guys missing most or all their teeth from doing meth or just generally not taking care of themselves in combination with a drug problem its like cmon you guys are literally making us look horrible. I’m just reaching the point where I hate all people equally. still I spun some laps with an old head tonight and he pointed out a lot of the games ppl play in here and generally gave some good advice.

1 Comment

  1. Dot Says... says:

    I’ve learned, people disappoint…ice cream doesn’t…

    Liked by 1 person

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